Dear Jackrabbit,
I recently had an occasion to sit with two young children (maybe 4 and 5) for a bit of time, and was asked a lot of questions. A lot of questions. While I think I handled all of those questions well, it did make me realize that you, too, will one day be peppering me with questions. Constant questions.
As your father, it is my responsibility to answer these questions to the best of my ability. With that in mind, I’ve come up with twelve questions you are likely to ask me one day, and formulated some answers.
Here we go…
Who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?
Batman, obviously.
Why is the sky blue?
Because all the other good colors were taken.
How do birds fly?
Spite, mostly. And a little bit of rage. This is also applies to airplanes.
Who would win in a fight, Batman or Iron Man?
Batman, obviously.
Where do babies come from?
Rainy weekends, power outtages, and/or disappointing summer TV schedules.
Where do squirrels go in winter?
For some of them… marketing seminars. The rest are huddled deep in their nests working on their screenplays.
Who would win in a fight, Batman or Spider-man?
Batman, obviously.
Image from Art of Lady T
http://ladytruds.blogspot.com/
What happened to the dinosaurs?
Gentrification and gluten sensitivity.
What’s gentrification?
It’s like global warming, but with more coffee shops.
Do fish sleep?
Not the smart ones.
How do radios work?
How do you know what a radio is? Short answer, something to do with waves and transistors and little tiny people performing inside a little tiny box.
Who would win in a fight, Batman or you?
Me, obviously.
(Bonus question) Really? You could beat Batman?
Yes, now go to bed.
I stand by my answers. If you think I’m wrong, prove it. That would be a good mental exercise for you, boy.
All my love,
–Dad
