Jack had a good night, by which I mean he slept well throughout most of the night, so it’s not surprising or anything that he’s oh-so-wide-awake now. That’s to be expected. He probably knows that this is the hour or so before his proper breakfast when Margaret is up and about. The earlier breakfast I gave him is in the past and fogotten. Doesn’t count any longer.
So what to do during the fretful hours between first and second breakfasts?
Good question. For me, it’s work or a nap.
For Jack… well, his options are a little more limited. There is no napping. And I’ve not put him to any real work yet. (Call me nuts, but I believe the first three months of a child’s life should be spent being a child.)
But I have things to do. Therefore, I did what every responsible parent does.
I put him in the swing and set it on auto.
Happy as a clam until he’s not, but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.
Rather than put on the white noise I usually do when I put him in the swing, I decided to try out some of the children’s music channels on Amazon Prime.* After determining that KidsBops was an insult to music, I settled on a fairly generic channel with playlist of pretty typical kid songs.
Pretty inoffensive stuff until…
…until “Wheels on the Bus” came one.
We’ll ignore, for now, the fact that it’s the mommies on the bus who go “Shh, shh, shh!” and there not a daddy to be found anywhere. Let’s be honest… if anyone is going to take the boy on a bus, it’s going to be his old man, a twenty-year veteran of public transportation.
I think what bothers me most is that it seems like the authors of the song have never been on a city bus in their lives. Sure, they get the “Move to the back” line by the bus driver correct, but there are so many other facets to riding the bus that are overlooked.
With that in mind, I’m adding a few new stanzas to make the song more accurate to the experience, such as:
The commuter on the bus goes “Mgghmm, ugghm, blerrhgg”
Mgghmm, ugghm, blerrhgg
Mgghmm, ugghm, blerrhgg
The commuter on the bus goes “Mgghmm, ugghm, blerrhgg”
All through the town.
or…
The mayor on the bus goes “raise the fare!”
raise the fare!
raise the fare!
The mayor on the bus goes “raise the fare!”
All through the town
and…
The bikes around the bus go “Crash! Crash! Crash!”
Crash! Crash! Crash!
Crash! Crash! Crash!
The bikes around the bus go “Crash! Crash! Crash!”
All through the town
and finally…
Eveybody asks “What’s that smell?”
What’s that smell?
What’s that smell?
Eveybody asks “What’s that smell?”
All through the town.
I think my version is better.
Cheers!
*Dear Amazon… I plugged your music service. Feel free to credit my account whatever you think is appopriate.
