During M’s pregnancy we learned that the very act of being pregnant can have some disturbing cognitive effects. M swore she was getting stupider. I wasn’t totally inclined to believe her because on her worst day she is still smarter than me at my best, but I was also willing to take her word for it. I think “stupid” was the wrong word, however. Maybe a little forgetful in spots.
Totally understandable.
As much of a miracle childbirth is, I have come to observe it as a something of a traumatic event as well. A body can’t go through that many changes without it having some kind of effect.
(There is also the possibility that any cognitive disfunction during pregnancy was also my fault. Apparently part of the father’s DNA gets into the brain of the mother. I forget exactly how that was supposed to work, but it tickled me enormously to know that I was literally inside M’s head. If she had any forgetful moments–it was probably my fault.)
The reason why I bring all this up is because I seem to have discovered that there is a similar effect placed on fathers…only in our case it is after the birth.
I’ve become stupiderer(er).
Or, to be more forgiving of myself, a touch forgetful.
Case in point… the other day M had taken young baby Jack to her office to show her off to her co-workers. I stayed home, did some chores, did a little writing, and took a nap. I also had planned for that day some grocery shopping, but I would have to wait for M to get home before I could do that.
Why?
Well, I couldn’t leave baby Jack at home alone now, could I?
Take a moment.
I have a car I can run chores with, but we don’t have a car seat for my car just yet–just M’s car. It makes perfect sense why I just couldn’t take Jack with me to the supermarket.
Right?
Except…
Yeah… Jack wasn’t with me. He was with his mother some fifteen miles away. I was waiting for them to return so I could go do chores without leaving Jack home alone when he wasn’t home in the first place.
Maybe getting a little stupid, but at least I was stupid in the right way. No babies were left unattended in the writing of this blog post.
I’m not too concerned about this little lapse. The first few weeks are odd for every new parent. Sleep schedules are what they are–inconsistent at best. As we suss things out, our mind will return to their normal acuity. See? It may be happening already. I used the word “acuity” in a sentence and I’m fairly certain I used the word correctly.
Things are looking up.
But wait, some of you are probably saying. Aren’t you just using Jack as an excuse for being a bit dim-witted?
Perhaps. But I plan to blame Jack for a lot of things over the coming years. Who took the last cookie? Who made that mess in the bathroom? Who made that mess in the other bathroom? Who keeps crank calling George R. R. Martin?
Jack did it. All his fault.
Honest.
Cheers!
